Guest post by Dave Greene
Did I tell you about the mushroom farm in my basement? I’ll never forget when I sprouted my first little shiitake. My mom got me a kit for Christmas with some joke in the card about how I’m a “fun guy”. I soaked it as per directions, and misted it lovingly for a few days. Then bingo! The best stirfry ever was just a few more misting sessions away.
Since then I’ve been growing shiitakes and oyster mushrooms in my basement pretty consistently, with no problem. I thought I was some kind of mushroom magician! But just the other day, after I maybe misted them a little more than usual, I went down to take a look at my bumper crop and saw fuzzy white streaks appearing on the rafters above the shelf they live on. My mushrooms were spreading their creepy little mycelia into the ceiling!
My first reaction was: AWESOME. My whole house could be a mushroom farm. I could get them growing everywhere, right out of the walls, and eventually harvest them from right next to the cutting board in the kitchen!
I biked to work, all excited to tell my coworkers about this ridiculously cool innovation in eco-friendly interior design. But wouldn’t you know, Debbie Downers that they are, my colleagues reminded me that maybe rampant fungus growth would mess up the structural integrity of the building eventually.
Not content to rain on my parade, they went on to ask, aren’t the rafters in your house treated wood anyway? So even if it didn’t destroy my house, would it even be safe to eat mushrooms that grew spontaneously from my wall studs?
So anyway, when I got home I decided to take action against the slow fungification of my abode. I mixed up a little bleach water and dabbed at the new mycelia, with, I’ll admit, the tiniest of little tears in my eye. I love my mushrooms.